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If you upload 1000 pictures on Instagram..
.. is it like uploading one picture in Instakilogram?
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What's the one thing a homeless man can't be?
A homebody.
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I invented a new game called Silent Tennis.
It’s like regular tennis but without the racquet.
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My wife left me because I’m too insecure
No wait, she’s back. She just went to make a cup of tea.
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
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