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Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.
I must be tired.
Me: this is my house
Friend: what's upstairs Me: stairs don't talk
Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888
So when someone asks tell them it’s 12345678
If you have diarrhea,
you've got to get your shit together.
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What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
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