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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.
I must be tired.
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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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My last annual performance review said I lacked passion and intensity.
They've never seen me alone with a really big cheeseburger.
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There are two types of people:
1.) Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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