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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Watched a movie in 1440p for the first time yesterday.
It was my new year's resolution.
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A sheep dog says to the farmer, "I'm going to round up the sheep." The dog comes back with 50 sheep. The farmers says, "we only have 48 sheep."
The dog replies, "Yea, I told you I was going to round them up."
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I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said: "Sure, knock yourself out!"
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Why do most married men die before their wives?
Because they want to.
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?
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