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My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.
Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.
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The doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body.
Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
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Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian.
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I burned 2,000 calories yesterday.
Left the brownies in the oven too long.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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