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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.
Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.
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I saw an ad for burial plots,
and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
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What did the ocean say to the sailboat?
Nothing, it just waved.
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I had a racing snail...
To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish
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My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.
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