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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it…
…then my illegal logging business is a success
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What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison.
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What's the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half.
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Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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