The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

2

I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.

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1

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"

0

My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”

0

What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?