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I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.
She said “Yes.... all the other guys were nines or tens”
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Why does the new iPhone 11 Max look like a stove top?
Because Tim cooks
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Today me and my wife caught our son burning down a house
We held each other's hand and said "that's arson"
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Father: I know what's causing your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television.
Kid: I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question.
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Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
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