Riddles
Categories
Login
Submit
Type to search for Riddle here.
Jokes
Login
Submit Joke
The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
My dog is really good at playing fetch
I think I’m going to promote him to branch manager
REVEAL ANSWER
Previous Dates
0
After 20 years of working on it, I finally finished my physics book.
It was about time.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
They'll never win a war on drugs.
It's hard enough to win a war even when you're not on drugs.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Did you hear about the houses next door to each other that fell in love?
It's a lawn-distance relationship.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?
Because all the other letters are Not-Cs
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Call me a taxi!
You're a taxi!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I can count on one hand how many times I've visited Chernobyl
7 times
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I keep having this dream about a horse in full battle armor
Actually it's probably more of a knight mare
REVEAL ANSWER
0
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
They’d crack each other up!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Which food should you only eat in the bathroom?
Showerkraut
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I lost five pounds last week,
but I found them in a fridge over the weekend.
REVEAL ANSWER
2
I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet
I don’t know y
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I remember asking my dad repeatedly what the acronym LGBTQ meant.
I never got a straight answer.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Jack: How’s it going? Beans: Pretty good
Jack and the beans talk
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
REVEAL ANSWER
0
If you have diarrhea,
you've got to get your shit together.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Let’s go ride bikes!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
I just dodged a bullet.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I’m not super experienced with wood carving.
I only know a whittle.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Just read an article about the top ten exposed electrical circuits.
One through ten will shock you!
REVEAL ANSWER
-1
Watched a movie in 1440p for the first time yesterday.
It was my new year's resolution.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
When life gives you melons
you might be dyslexic.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Last night I went to a Christian themed restaurant called “The Lord Giveth”.
They also do take away.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What's the difference between a baseball hitter and a skydiver?
The baseball player goes "smack!...ARGH!" A skydiver goes "ARGH!...smack!"
REVEAL ANSWER
-1
What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
Dynomites
REVEAL ANSWER
1
Irony.
The opposite of wrinkly.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I’ll let you know
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call a line of blonde people?
A barbie queue
REVEAL ANSWER
-5
If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion
They would call it crucifact.
REVEAL ANSWER
‹
1
2
...
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
...
66
67
›
Search Jokes
Search
Joke of the Day
My dog is really good at playing fetch
REVEAL ANSWER
Please Login
In order to upvote or downvote you have to login.
Login
Close
0
0
0
0
