The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

What do Spanish clocks say?

Previous Dates

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I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary

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Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.

0

My son turned 27, so he's no longer covered by my health insurance.

0

Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend

0

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

0

Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back.

2

I heard this guy whispering a lot of Pokemon jokes to his friend...

0

What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

0

You can tell the gender of any animal by just throwing a pebble at it.

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A sketchy guy just came into my shop and bought six smoke machines. So I called the cops.

0

What do sprinters eat before a race?

0

What do you do after an Apple turns bad?

0

Alligators can grow up to 13 feet.

4

Thought I heard someone say “Hello” in Arabic

0

A Chinese child was born before his due date...

0

I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.

0

Why did the pencil get flushed down the toilet?

0

What do call a dinosaur without gold?

0

What did the flower say to the bicycle?

1

What is the opposite of a croissant?

0

I think my iPhone's broken

0

Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?

0

Do you think..

-1

My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"

0

If you suck at playing the trumpet,

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My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.

0

I have a Russian friend who is a sound technician.

0

Why did the dentist stick some X-rays in his mouth?

0

Why can't you play basketball with pigs?

0

What do you call someone who sells themselves in exchange for spaghetti?

0

When debating letters, you always want "i" and "j" on your team.