Riddles
Categories
Login
Submit
Type to search for Riddle here.
Jokes
Login
Submit Joke
The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
REVEAL ANSWER
Previous Dates
0
You know what really makes my day?
The rotation of the earth
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why can't you play basketball with pigs?
They're ball hogs!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why did the fish blush?
He saw the oceans bottom
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My wife kicked me out because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. But don't worry,
I'll return.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Next time your wife is angry, give her a towel as cape.
Then say : now you are super angry! She might laugh.. you might die.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Wife asked me why i don't take her anywhere.
I answered: "What's the point, you always come back."
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why do bees hum?
They don't know the words.
REVEAL ANSWER
2
Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
He wanted to visit Pluto.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
NASCAR bans the confederate flag?
Finally a turn in the right direction.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What kind of sickness does a martial artist get?
Kung flu.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why do birds fly south?
It’s easier than walking!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What did the undertaker say when he realized he'd buried the wrong coffin?
I've made a grave mistake
REVEAL ANSWER
0
myspacebarhasarestrainingorderagainstme
nowicanonlygotofacebookbar
REVEAL ANSWER
0
How do you call the smartest mountain?
Cleverest!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Where do you take somebody that has been injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?
The I.C.U.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I’ve just won a few hands in poker.
Some people really will gamble anything.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
He was destroying his calves.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their head is really far away.
REVEAL ANSWER
2
I just flew in from a Transformers convention
And boy are my arms tires
REVEAL ANSWER
1
If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”
They get really pissed off.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why are foot injuries so serious?
... because they take so long to heel.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My therapist told me that I have trouble interpreting social cues.
I think she’s in love with me.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
You can tell the gender of any animal by just throwing a pebble at it.
If SHE attacks you then it's a female or If HE attacks you then it's a male.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call it when a pirate climaxes?
An arrgasm
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. It has so many black belts.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why couldn't the Olympian listen to music?
Because he kept breaking all the records.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
It got so bad I had to take his bike away.
REVEAL ANSWER
‹
1
2
...
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
...
64
65
›
Search Jokes
Search
Joke of the Day
I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
REVEAL ANSWER
Please Login
In order to upvote or downvote you have to login.
Login
Close
0
0
0
0
