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Why can't you play basketball with pigs?
They're ball hogs!
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My dentist is a really mean guy
He always hurts my fillings
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite,
but I ended up picking 7 Up.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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