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What did the undertaker say when he realized he'd buried the wrong coffin?
I've made a grave mistake
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It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering
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If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Really, really big hands.
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One potato looks to another potato and says "Are you a sweet potato?"
The potato responds "I yam."
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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