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What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
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What do you call an ugly dinosaur?
An eyesaur.
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I shot my first turkey today...
Scared the heck out of everyone else in the frozen food section.
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When I was at the pool yesterday, I began peeing in the deep end
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I almost fell in
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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