The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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How do priests stay fit?

Previous Dates

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I was going to tell a railway joke..

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Who is a dog's favorite comedian?

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I'll never forget the last thing that Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket:

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If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it...

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Two cannibals are eating a clown.

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If you bury someone in the wrong place,

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“Dear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”

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Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

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A horse walks into a bar...

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Why are the Avengers so good with tools?

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Why do barbers make good drivers?

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If prisoners could take their own mugshots what would they be called?

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You know what actually makes me smile?

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How do ponies communicate with each other?

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If I dont perfect human cloning..

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What gender pronouns does a chocolate bar use?

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A cop left a nice note on my windshield to let me know I'd parked my car correctly...

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I was arrested for stealing cooking utensils

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The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.

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Why didn't the dad shower before telling his joke?

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

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Doctor: How's that kid who swallowed the half-dollar?

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The guy who stole my diary has died.

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My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Disaster. Disaster who?

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What's a drunk astronauts favourite part of a computer?

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I was going to buy a book about phobias,

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Did you hear about the guy who invented Altoids?

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Spring is here but I can't plant flowers yet...

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?