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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
A kiwi in an elevator.
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I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her.
As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"
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Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Kid: No, he did it all by himself!
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I just swallowed a stack of Scrabble tiles by accident.
My next poop could spell disaster.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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