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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What do thieves make their weapons from?
Steal.
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A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."
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I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
“It’s to look at.”
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No bragging but I made six figures last year.
So they named me worst employee at the toy factory.
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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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