Riddles
Categories
Login
Submit
Type to search for Riddle here.
Jokes
Login
Submit Joke
The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
I was kidnapped by mimes once
They did unspeakable things to me.
REVEAL ANSWER
Previous Dates
0
Cannibals aren’t very sociable.
They’re all fed up with people.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless...
I was like 0mg.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
The garbage man looks sad.
Yeah, he's wheelie bin depressed.
REVEAL ANSWER
-1
What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
Dynomites
REVEAL ANSWER
0
In my twenties, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination?
HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My girlfriend just asked me what state was below Tennessee...
Nine-esse
REVEAL ANSWER
-1
You know you're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling...
and you didn't do anything the night before.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
“OH MY GOD, A BUS!!!!!”
REVEAL ANSWER
0
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help
But I stand corrected.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What's the difference between a baseball hitter and a skydiver?
The baseball player goes "smack!...ARGH!" A skydiver goes "ARGH!...smack!"
REVEAL ANSWER
0
The only time I get called "Sir" is when I'm in trouble.
"Sir, you're gonna have to get out. The ball pit is for kids only Sir."...
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Someone asked if I was Russian.
I said I'm not, I'm taking my time.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
Why is honey good for you?
It’s full of Bee vitamins.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government.
Lesbionage
REVEAL ANSWER
1
A good romance starts with a good friendship. A bad romance on the other hand starts with...
Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
REVEAL ANSWER
3
Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
REVEAL ANSWER
14
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I met a girl with 12 nipples..
Sounds funny, dozen tit?
REVEAL ANSWER
0
How do ponies communicate with each other?
Horse code.
REVEAL ANSWER
-1
Why didn't anyone say anything when the king farted?
It was a noble gas.
REVEAL ANSWER
1
Good romance starts with good friendship
A bad romance starts with "ra ra ah ah ah. ro, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la,"
REVEAL ANSWER
1
My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
They're to prevent meltdowns.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I don't trust these trees
They seem kind of shady
REVEAL ANSWER
0
I found out I'm lactoes intolerant.
I can't stand, not having any toes.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What is an anti-social vegan?
Someone who avoid meets
REVEAL ANSWER
1
What is Beethoven doing in his grave?
Decomposing.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
You know people say they pick their nose?
I was just born with mine.
REVEAL ANSWER
0
What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
REVEAL ANSWER
‹
1
2
...
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
...
78
79
›
Search Jokes
Search
Joke of the Day
I was kidnapped by mimes once
REVEAL ANSWER
Please Login
In order to upvote or downvote you have to login.
Login
Close
0
1
0
1
