The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.

Previous Dates

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I have a question for you

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What do you call the question of midgets?

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up?

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My kids were very upset when our bunnies escaped.

1

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

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What's another name for an eyedropper?

1

I shot my enemy with a paintball gun

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As a new language, Braille is not that difficult to learn.

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What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?

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I couldn't pay the exorcist.

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Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

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I connot belive that bacteria would just come in my body without my permision

-1

What training do you need to become a garbage collector

2

I was in a band in the 80s called Prevention.

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The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”

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What sound does a bouncing plane make?

2

Just found out my uncle is addicted to viagra

1

What do you call a calculator that works instantly?

-1

To the guy who stole my antidepressants...

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What happened to the man who took the airline company to court after his luggage went missing?

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Why can't you play basketball with pigs?

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I knew I shouldn't have had the sea food.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing?

5

Do you wanna know why skeletons are so calm?

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I've been waiting all year to write this

1

How do bees get to school?

2

Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station.

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Just so everybody's clear,

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Doctor: I'm sorry sir, but you have colon cancer...

-3

Instead of 'Happy New Year' I said 'good year' to my wife.

-1

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey.