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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
0
What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
They're, there, their.
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Previous Dates
1
Bro, do you want this pamphlet?
Brochure
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll a joint.
He's now high on the list of people I don't want to see again.
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1
Mary had a little lamb.
She's not a vegan anymore.
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0
What do you call a short mexican?
A paragraph, because hes too short to be an esse
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0
Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
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My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.
Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.
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What do you call an apology sent via Morse Code?
Remorse Code.
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0
What jokes are allowed during lockdown?
Inside jokes
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2
Feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humor.
Period.
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0
What language do geese speak?
Portugeese..
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Why do 9 ants get to live in an apartment for free?
Because they're not tenants
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0
Why did the dad tell the joke
To get to the other sigh
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Have you heard the joke about the bed?
It hasn't been made yet!
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0
You can tell the gender of any animal by just throwing a pebble at it.
If SHE attacks you then it's a female or If HE attacks you then it's a male.
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I saw an ad in a shop window, “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full”, I thought
“I can't turn that down.”
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How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?
Its not hard
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1
What did the archer get when he hit a bull's-eye?
One very angry bull.
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0
I had a pun about insanity
but then I lost it.
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0
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.
He said he couldn't complain.
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0
Incorrectly is always spelled incorrectly
Unless it's spelled incorrectly
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Do you know how I embrace my mistakes?
I hug my wife and children.
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I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around, eventually.
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0
What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
A kiwi in an elevator.
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Why don’t crabs donate?
Because they’re shellfish.
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0
What do you call a young musician?
A minor.
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What does Devil use to make calls?
Hell phones
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1
What’s a carpet’s favorite sport?
Rugby
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0
Why was the hunter arrested while making breakfast?
The warden had found out he poached his eggs.
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0
What does DNA stand for?
National dyslexic association
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How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
That was supposed to be in place a week ago.
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0
What does food surf on?
Micro waves
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Joke of the Day
What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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