The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.

Previous Dates

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What do you call a bad interior decorator?

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

1

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type

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I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery

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At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist...

3

I just took an AND test

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Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.

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My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.

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What is a mummy's favorite music genre?

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My wife made me a millionaire

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I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."

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Do you know why I can’t be buried in a cemetery?

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What do you call a dog without legs?

1

A joke about herd immunity isn't funny unless..

-1

My blind friend was left by his deaf wife.

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What do you call a sketchy Italian neighbourhood?

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Why didn’t the melons get married?

1

How does the Earth keep itself clean?

6

I stole my ex girlfriend’s wheelchair

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Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

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A man standing on a riverbank yells to a woman on the other side, "Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?"

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How did the farmer mend the holes in his jeans?

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What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?

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How do ponies communicate with each other?

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What’s blue and not heavy

1

Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies

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My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick.

1

Did you hear about the Giant that threw up?

0

Why can't a father teach his girl about buying bras?

0

When I was born I was so surprised,

1

What superhero gets hurt the easiest?