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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I told my son people keep accidentally pleading for me to purchase meat for them. He asked, “By mistake?”
I shouted, “Oh come on! Not you too!”
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What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta.
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What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?
He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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Although my friend has a lot of hair, he’s paranoid about going bald.
I told him, “It’s all in your head.”
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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