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I was accused of being a plagiarist,
their word not mine.
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What type of people never get angry?
The nomads.
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Why aren't Koalas actual bears?
They don't meet the koalafications.
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My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine.
I added some fruit and orange juice—now she’s sangria than ever.
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
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