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I was accused of being a plagiarist,
their word not mine.
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Every morning I announce loudly to my family that I’m going jogging, but then don’t go.
It’s a running joke.
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Did you hear about the guy who had the whole left side of his body amputated?
He's alright now.
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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get,
I'll never be as good as a wall.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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