The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded a gold medal.

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Why don’t you hear psychiatrists when they go to the bathroom?

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What follows two eyes?

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I’ve lost my scapegoat.

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I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor.

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What did 50Cent do when he got hungry?

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I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.