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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar every time I have pessimistic thoughts.
It’s currently half empty.
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Before he passed away, my grandfather said, “Here are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.”
Push and Pull.
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How does Darth Vader like his steaks?
Well, done done done, done da done, done da done
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I passed my forklift test today. I did very well.
My carer says I should be able to try the spoon tomorrow.
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The best joke I can think of is quarantine.
If you don't get it, it's because it's an inside joke.
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If I dont perfect human cloning..
I won't be able to live with myself.
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My dog accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles today..
His next poop could spell disaster.
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Joke of the Day
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
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