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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
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What did the banana do when it saw a horde of hungry monkeys?
Split!
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To determine the gender of a parrot you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he's a male...
If she bites you, she's a female.
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My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?
You stop pretending.
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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