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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
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I took my wife to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you, but she wasn't very happy.
I told her next time she can pick the restaurant, if she really hated Subway that much.
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I have my grandma on speed-dial
Call it Instagram
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Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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