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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
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Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?
He was afraid of capitalism.
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Me and my wife were perfectly happy for 28 years
And then we met each other.
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I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared,
"Hey, we've been getting along great lately!'
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I don't trust these trees
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