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I have my grandma on speed-dial
Call it Instagram
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The punchline comes before the question.
What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?
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Why didn’t the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe
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My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
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