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My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded a gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
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Father: I know what's causing your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television.
Kid: I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question.
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What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants
Turns out she was only with me for my mussels
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I need a new butt
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