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What did 50Cent do when he got hungry?
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Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
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What did fridge say when asked 'any hot drinks?'?
'No, I'm cool.'
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I asked my wife to pick up a pumpkin to make pumpkin pie. When she said she couldn't find one at the store, I told her,
"I guess our plans are squashed."
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
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