The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

1

A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"

Previous Dates

0

Being a great father is like shaving.

1

My wife to our son, "Go brush your teeth with your sister"

0

My friend claims that he “accidentally” glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

0

What are a communist's favorite units of time?

0

I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

1

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

5

Someone asked if there is a local chess club?

0

Me: wanna hear a joke about $1,000 Her: sure

0

What does a didgeridoo?

0

My wife gave birth to our child today. Everything went well, the baby is healthy and I'm very happy

0

How does a butcher introduce his wife?

0

The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.

1

Never become an archaeologist

0

Burned my Hawaiian pizza today,

0

What did the DJ name his newborn son?

0

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

0

I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite,

0

Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.

0

Did you know trees can do math?

0

What time did the man go to the dentist?

0

Living on earth is expensive

0

I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.

0

What does Keanu Reeves use to dry his tears when Keanu Grieves?

0

Caller: Operator! Call me an ambulance!

0

Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.

0

What do you call a careful wolf ?

0

Why didn't the picture go to jail?

0

I don't trust these trees

0

What did the bear say when he called customer service?

0

Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker?

0

I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.