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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender says:
"Why the long face?"
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What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
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I burned 2,000 calories yesterday.
Left the brownies in the oven too long.
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What did the DJ name his newborn son?
Eric
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I got a job in a coffee shop. I feel like I can espresso myself there.
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