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Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable.
I can always count on them.
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Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
If there were four it would be called a chicken sedan!
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Why won’t triangles go on dates with circles?
They’re pointless.
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Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...
I left my phone in Airplane mode
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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