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Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable.
I can always count on them.
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What do you call a guy that has no phone?
You don’t. You don’t call him.
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Why did it take Russia so long to invade Germany?
They were Stalin.
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I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor.
I have shellfish steamed issues.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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