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I need a new butt
Mine has a crack in it
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Spring is here but I can't plant flowers yet...
I haven't botany
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Why does seaguls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
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Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?
Cop: It was a moving violation.
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
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