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My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?"
Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
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My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
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Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely.
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What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?
LMAYO
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
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