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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Someone asked if I was Russian.
I said I'm not, I'm taking my time.
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Why couldn’t the duck cross the road?
Because he got his foot stuck in a quack.
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My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home...
...I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.
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So I was asking my brother how come he only uses his superpowers on my daughters
He said it’s because he only has telekinesis not telekinephews
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs!
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It's difficult to say what my wife does,
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
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Joke of the Day
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight.
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