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So I was asking my brother how come he only uses his superpowers on my daughters
He said it’s because he only has telekinesis not telekinephews
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My wife sent me an article that says men's beards have more germs than dogs.
I approve. There are no dogs in my beard.
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Today me and my wife caught our son burning down a house
We held each other's hand and said "that's arson"
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Why did the Muffin go to the doctor?
He was feeling crummy.
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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