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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home...
...I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.
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I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
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Why was the mouse scared of becoming a doctor?
He knew he'd have to take the MCAT.
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Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today
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