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My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home...
...I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed.
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What’s a thief’s way of saying hello?
Knife to meetcha!
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Marriage is like a card game.
At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a Spade.
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.
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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
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