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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What did the ground say to the oil worker?
"You bore me."
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Every morning I plan on making pancakes,
but I keep waffling.
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1
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A teacher says "Spit out your gum," and the train says "Choo choo choo!"
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Newscaster: Why did you relocate across the country?
Weatherman: Because the weather didn't agree with me.
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I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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How did the farmer mend the holes in his jeans?
With cabbage patches.
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I went to the bank and asked the teller to check my balance.
She shoved me, but I didn't fall down.
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How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
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