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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What does Pac-Man eat with his chips?
Guacawakamole.
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My wife saw an ant picking up a leaf 5 times its body weight, and told me, “Can you imagine being that strong?”
So I picked up the leaf and said, “Yes.”
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Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the tv.
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My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
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I only believe in 12.5% of the bible
I'm an eighth theist
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Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?
He was afraid of capitalism.
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I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.
I replied “can I at least Taekwondo?”
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What does the clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
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A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks,
"Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
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My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.
She just can’t seem to let it go.
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What did fridge say when asked 'any hot drinks?'?
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