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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I was on a date with a woman who said "I am a big country fan."
Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "
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Doctor: I had to take your colon.
Me why?
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I couldn’t decide on how much lettuce to buy, until my wife helped me think it through.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
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I'm going to have my spine removed
All it does is hold me back
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I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons.
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
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What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
“Some asshole has my pen.”
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People say i look better without glasses
But i just can't see it.
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Joke of the Day
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight.
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