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What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
“Some asshole has my pen.”
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I remember the last thing my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket.
He said, “Hey how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
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What do you call a cheese that isn't yours?
NACHO CHEESE!
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Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?
Cop: It was a moving violation.
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I dated a twin once...
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