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What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
“Some asshole has my pen.”
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The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
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What do you call a sketchy Italian neighbourhood?
A spaghetto
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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