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I couldn’t decide on how much lettuce to buy, until my wife helped me think it through.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
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What do you call a depressed rapper on social media?
Post 'm all alone.
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Interviewer: We only hire people who are responsible.
Well, your search ends today. At my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Albee. Albee who?
Well Albee a monkey's uncle.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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