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I was on a date with a woman who said "I am a big country fan."
Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "
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Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?
Because all the other letters are Not-Cs
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Yesterday I slapped Dwayne Johnson's ass.
I've officially hit rock bottom.
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What do you call a cow that lifts weights?
A BUFFalo.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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