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I ordered a book of puns last week,
but i didn't get it.
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I just witnessed a guy getting shot with a paintball gun.
He dyed on impact.
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My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on!
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I have a confession to make, I was addicted to soap.
But I’m clean now.
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Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.
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