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Kid: Dad, what's the opposite of isolate?
Dad: Yousoearly
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When my grandma died, I had her cremated and put her ashes in a trophy that said "World's Best Grandma."
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My girlfriend really changed when she became vegan.
It was like I had never seen herbivore.
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My dumbass son thinks there’s the letter F is in the word ‘way’
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I dated a twin once...
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