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Kid: Dad, what's the opposite of isolate?
Dad: Yousoearly
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My wife came back from the store complaining about how the lady at the register was a total bitch.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
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Can I watch the TV?
Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.
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What kind of sickness does a martial artist get?
Kung flu.
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I don't trust these trees
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