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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”
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I haven’t slept for three days
That would be too long
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What happens to a bear when it's dark ?
He can bearly see.
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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose
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I ate a clock last week.
I had difficulty passing time.
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What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig
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Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?
Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.
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I need a joke to tell my deaf friend
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