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Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?
Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.
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My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...
No one is taking my cries for help seriously.
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Have you ever seen a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved?
It’s beauty was unpresidented.
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I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
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