The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”

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What does a builder listen to?

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What do you call a sold-out demolition derby?

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A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?". "For drinking." replies the cop.