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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus.
It's the little things that count!
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When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
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If a child refuses to go to sleep, is he resisting arrest?
No, he's avoiding a kidnapping.
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I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing.
It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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Yesterday I slapped Dwayne Johnson's ass.
I've officially hit rock bottom.
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I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
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Joke of the Day
I need a joke to tell my deaf friend
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