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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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You know what I really don't understand?
Russian.
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Two atoms are walking down the street and bump into each other
-Are you ok? -I think I lost an electron -Are you sure? -I’m positive!
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I opened a gym geared towards lazy pessimists.
It didn't work out.
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You know people say they pick their nose?
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