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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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How did the farmer mend the holes in his jeans?
With cabbage patches.
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Migraines aren't real.
They're all in your head.
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If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion
They would call it crucifact.
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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