The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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6

My dad was an alcoholic who wanted to be a lawyer

5

People say that I am self-centred

2

One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments.

2

Just found out my uncle is addicted to viagra

4

Why can't a lactose intolerant dyslexic man keep a diary?

6

When my wife found me playing with my son’s train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.

6

I used to eat watches and clocks for every meal, but I had to stop.

3

My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.

5

What smells like feet and tastes like fish?

4

A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.