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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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2750 Results
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What type of people never get angry?
The nomads.
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0
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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1
A furniture store keeps calling me...
All I wanted was one night stand.
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0
I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."
"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."
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I told my son people keep accidentally pleading for me to purchase meat for them. He asked, “By mistake?”
I shouted, “Oh come on! Not you too!”
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The guy at the tuxedo store keeps hovering around me, so I asked him to leave me alone.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
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0
Converting the number 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals doesn’t just make me mad....
It makes me LIVID.
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0
Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
Asking for a friend.
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-1
It’s probably not safe for me to be driving this car right now.
But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
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0
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
It was a brief case.
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What did fridge say when asked 'any hot drinks?'?
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