The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?

Previous Dates

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

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A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,

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Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler.

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My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.

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The garbage man looks sad.

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What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

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What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

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I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers.

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Why did Waldo wear stripes?

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What do you call a five foot psychic that's escaped from jail?

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What did the unborn twins say when they were hungry?

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A sketchy guy just came into my shop and bought six smoke machines. So I called the cops.

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Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

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Today, I accidentally played dad instead of dead when a bear was running at me

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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”

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What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?

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Last night I went to a Christian themed restaurant called “The Lord Giveth”.

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Did you hear about the perfume that smells of nothing?

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If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”

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No bragging but I made six figures last year.

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I watched a movie about graphs last night, but I was slightly disappointed.

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What do you call a young musician?

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What do you call bears with no ears?

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Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?

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I can cut down a tree by just looking at it

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Mom bought me some camouflage cargo pants.

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You can't run through a camp site.

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Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?

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What did the DJ name his newborn son?

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I’m so good at sleeping…

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Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me.